This article will speak of expectations. Showing how desires generate perceptions that inevitably filter what we experience. Then, I will move on to explain how a ripple effect can cause and influence others to experience the same negative emotions. Feelings and thoughts that I first projected when I was consumed in fear. Concluding that perception is just an illusion and enlightenment can be attained once we have been through a process of learning and reflecting.
Most of us seem to harbour expectations and unwarranted desires. I know I do, I wrote ‘Socially Disabled’ because I held my own perceptions on how my partner’s friend, my children and my friends could be perceiving me. This was brought on by my desires to not be disliked. Although, I wasn’t bothered about being liked, it did haunt me the thought of others disliking me. I strive to please everyone and helping anyone and suddenly due to my unconscious desires to not be disliked, I was confronted with my elementals.
My perceptions of elementals as I understand it is that it is part of your conscious thinking. When I am filled with elementals, I feel bombarded with constant thoughts that invade my consciousness. I see it as a persistent positive or negative thought that relinquishes deep into an egoistical state. A state that can not cope with the social interactive environment. Sometimes, I visualise hundreds of metal spiders running and surrounding me. Through, discussing my visions, I realised that my fears were just unwarranted illusions.
I have to realise that it does not matter if someone dislikes me, it is their choice to like or dislike me. On reflecting on this topic of Expectations’, I ultimately began a learning process. I observed that I didn’t get from A to B in a straight line. I got to my destination after experiencing several waves of emotions that set the course to recovery. The first ripple began with my elementals which transpired my fears onto the other person that I feared disliked me. Then, unfortunately, I experienced anger. Fear often develops into anger if it is not resolved.
Anguish resulted in spending a period of time in darkness and I found myself submersed in negative vibes of energy. Experiencing this negativity, forced me to fall deeper in this black hole. This period lacked control and clarity. I was unable to swim back to the surface for air. Suffocating and confused, I became intoxicated with even more anger and rage. This process was repeated several times and although I thought I had reflected on what had happened, I realised that I was only dealing with my desires and Expectations’.
Then, it happened, my partner requested that I wrote on Expectations’. As I planned my poem and this article, it soon emerged that perception is an elemental that we just need to ‘Let it Be’. We just need to accept ‘What Is’. Perception led me to project my fear and anger onto others who also then experienced the same waves of emotions. I had set off the ripple effect. You set up a line of dominoes and knock one down and the rest would follow suit, until the last would fall. So, unfortunately, this created perception was my own deception. This was highlighted by my own desires. An illusion that led us through a long chain of catastrophic events.
The procedures leading to us seeing the light was encompassed by our discussing our own disillusions. Reflection was just one part of our healing process, writing was another. We knew we had to empathise with one another to learn how to come to an understanding between one another. When someone is born, they begin their walking lives through a process of crawling which then leads to walking and then running. No matter what we do, we have to experience a process of learning and grasping ‘What Is’ at the ‘Moment it Occurs’. Writing on this topic was my final step to grasping the inevitable cycle of my learning how to walk. I couldn’t have got there any earlier or later as this was my destiny.
Now, I can deduct that my self pity was my arrogance. Having reflected on the collage of my development, I now know that I need to forgive myself as well as forgiving others. Forgiveness’ is a must if we are to walk hand in hand and form a unity that bonds on ‘Love and Light’.
So, as you can imagine, this process of healing and accepting was not an overnight conclusion. In fact, realising that all the above had occurred was only just the beginning. A chance to understand that I can now learn to grasp how my illusions can be dissolved with time and compassion towards myself and others. Hence, I will try to endeavour to ‘Accept What Is’. I can only hope the ripple effect has now come to an end. Again ‘It Is What It Is’.